Average Joe talks to the Congress

Joe:

I’m 35 years old and I have a wife, two kids, and a massive debt load. With the mortgage, car payment, utilities, and health and dental care for the kids, we’ve been having some trouble paying the bills. Susie worked at an airline, and after 9-11 she lost her job because of the economy. Now she’s got two part time jobs and we’ve put the kids back in public school. We got a debt counselor and that helped a little. We were going to file for bankruptcy, but then they had those rule changes. Plus, the attorney said it would cost about $800 to file. My Dad was going to help me out. He’s in Detroit, retired from GM. But then he lost his pension when the company declared bankruptcy, so he’s struggling too. We’re doing the best we can to make ends meet but it’s tough here in the Midwest. My brother might come stay with us for a while and help out. He lost his house in the Hurricane, and the insurance won’t cover it. He was in accounting, but right now he’s just looking for work. They just built a new Wal Mart in town and he’s applied to be a cashier for $7.35 an hour. Anyway, that’s kind of our situation. Is there anything you can do to help?

Congress:

First of all Joe, I’d like to say that I empathize with your situation. We at the Congress are concerned about the welfare of all Americans and we here in Washington are working exclusively on your behalf to solve the major problems facing this nation. We have recently taken a stand to save the life of Terri Shiavo, to ban gay marriage, outlaw abortion, expand the death penalty and allow warrantless searches and indefinite detentions of American citizens without judicial oversight. I want you to know we’re doing all we can to solve these pressing problems to benefit people like you Joe.

As to your financial difficulties, the Congress has been facing a similar problem. We have overextended our debt and continue to borrow vast amounts of money, but we found a way to get through it all. Basically, we gave out a few tax breaks, started a few new wars in the Middle East, borrowed a bunch of money from China, gave ourselves raises and created “free-speech zones” so citizens can express themselves freely away from cameras, crowds and elected officials. It’s all part of the Ownership Society package. Perhaps you could do something along those lines.

Best wishes,
Your Senators and Representatives